Balancing Life and Relationships

There is a key to having balance in our lives and our relationships. This comes from the ability to know who we are in all situations and with all of the different hats we wear. Many times we have something to say, and then choose not to. This is not helpful to us or to the person we are speaking to (who needs to hear it).The more we know about ourselves, the richer life becomes. When we hold back we do not give the other person the chance to see who we really are and what we really need. We do get upset as our needs are not met, though many go unspoken and even sometimes unacknowledged to ourselves.

One of the routes to bettering the friendships or romantic relationships we have is to do a little soul searching into who we are. To some, this can seem foolish, but it is actually one of the most important exercises you can ever do. For some this could take place in a healing session, for others just paying attention to your surroundings and how you feel.

This is also apparent as we set our boundaries (hopefully we all have set those). Boundaries are making sure our own needs get met. Not being unrealistically selfish. We need to be “selfish” though the term has strayed far from its original meaning. Taking care of yourself first is a necessity. The oxygen masks on a plane are a great example of that. If you do not secure your own, you can not help others. If we are dropping everything to run to help others all of the time, putting ourselves last, we are not very effective for anyone. Women seem to be the bigger offenders when it comes to this, but it happens on both sides.

If we can nourish ourselves first, then there is plenty of energy to handle what ever our day brings.  If you look to the people in relationships that you know, you will see, the healthy ones can bicker a little.  If something is wrong they address it right away.  This is a sign of a healthy couple.   It is okay to have emotions in a relationship; good and bad.  For some reason we are taught to pretend everything is fine and not rock the boat.  This plan does not work. Everyone needs to get their needs met, and this happens by letting your partner know what you need, (actually talking about it).  Remember, when you speak your truth, it is concise and calm.  If you are rambling or angry, you have just missed your own point.